Finding my way, sharing my finds
This is the sense of regret after making a purchase and it can often accompany the purchase of an expensive object. Sometimes it stems from fear of making the wrong choice or suspicion of having been overly influenced by the seller.
I was slightly worried about getting buyer’s remorse, especially given that I was now $103,000 in debt after signing the final contract.
But I never did get it. I loved my new 2 bedroom, 2.5-bathroom townhome. I had gotten it for a great price ($8,000 off list price) and it was the perfect fit for me. More than that, it had a great location right by a park with a lake and it was close enough to uptown Charlotte while still preserving that sense of privacy and distance I craved.
Fast forward 2.5 years and I recently closed on the sale of that first home.
I hadn’t expected to be selling it so soon. But major life changes dictated that now was the time to sell. (I promise, I’m getting to this in a blog soon).
And man, it really was a good time to sell! I had a purchase offer on my home in 15 days. I was thrilled. Everything felt like it was falling into place, setting me up for the next great chapter of my life.
But then, it suddenly hit me about a week later while I was at work: That’s not going to be my home anymore in a few weeks.
I felt this sinking feeling in my gut. And my chest felt hollow, like someone had ripped out my heart. I felt anxious, remorseful and sad all at the same time.
It occurred to me that while I’d escaped buyer’s remorse, I was dealing with a serious case of seller’s remorse. And I didn’t quite understand why.
Seller’s remorse is this feeling of regret over selling your home. Sometimes, this feeling can have really costly consequences. For instance, some sellers may end up buying back their old home for a much higher price than it’s worth as a way of treating the remorse. Other sellers might back out of a contract because of seller’s remorse, which can sometimes result in lawsuits from buyers.
I searched the Internet and here are the top reasons I found for why people develop seller’s remorse:
After all, this was my very first home. And not only that, but I purchased it as a single female at the age of 24.
This really was an important milestone for me as I value my independence a great deal. I’ve never wanted to be the kind of female that moves straight from her father’s house to her husband’s house. I wanted to be able to say I lived on my own first.
And while I have pretty much lived on my own in apartments for the last six years, there’s nothing quite like owning your own home. Knowing your name is the only one on the deed…having the freedom to do whatever you want to the backyard because it’s your land after all… feeling the pride of maintaining the home because it is yours to keep… it’s a wonderful feeling.
Owning the place in which you live really does change how you view the property.
When something would break at the apartments, I would just call the maintenance guys and have them fix it. I really didn’t care if I forgot to turn the vents on in the bathroom while I showered because I knew I wouldn’t be around long enough to see the mold growing anyway. And forget about any interior improvements – I wasn’t going to throw away my money improving a place I wasn’t going to live in anyway within a couple of years.
But with owning a home, there really was a sense of pride. There’s also a real yearning to plant down roots and a deep-seated desire to preserve the property as much as possible so it lasts a great many years.
After all, I was envisioning getting married while living at that home and, years down the road, having kids. Often, as I was driving home from work, I’d daydream about walking my first born to school at the nearby Pineville Elementary or watching my child play little league at the nearby athletic complex.
I could really see my life unfolding there.
Given all that, it’s no wonder I felt seller’s remorse. While I knew that it was the best decision for my life (which is about to face a number of major changes), it still hurt to make that emotional break. After all, I wasn’t just saying goodbye to past memories but future memories as well.
Here are the best suggestions I found online:
I think I’m going to give that last suggestion a try in my next blog. I think it will give me the closure I seek and also give me a chance to properly honor what my home in Pineville meant to me.